The Weekend ... By the Numbers

5 Runs of the dishwasher.

1 Flat tire, and no replacements to be found, until Monday when the warehouse opens.

6 Children.

4 Adults.

1 Brush fire, and a road trip for the guys and kids to find it. (This is the second fire in our area when they have visited.  The first was a barn fire near our neighborhood.)

1 Hour in the pool, which equaled tired children.  Tired children mean an early bedtime for them, and a fondue dinner for the parents.

5 Facebook posts about the weekend.

4 i Touches.

Numerous games of Angry Birds.

Numerous Wii tournaments.

3 Bottles of wine.

3 Games of Settlers, not necessarily with the wine.

7th visit to Virginia.  Maybe 6th, certainly not more then 7.  We lost count a long time ago.  We remember how many children we have, and those early years of parenting have completely deleted our memory of anything else.

And, somewhere, during the weekend, we realize that all of it means a weekend with good friends is priceless.  We enjoy old traditions, an adults only fondue dinner; and create new ones, playing the game Settlers.  We watch the kids grow, remember the past, think about the future, and commiserate with the present.

Wanted: A Shopping Friend

My last post was from my If I Twitter series, and it followed my annual Day of Shopping, which kicks off my annual Weekend of Scraping.

Yes, they deserve the capitalization they received, for 2 reasons.  1.  I live in a small town.  Around here there are not many options, at least not a lot of clothes shopping options, where you will not find an article of clothing everyone else, in this small town, is wearing.  2.  I save for this all year.  I have money to spend.  I watch the sales, I gather the gift cards and coupons, and calculate the discounts; but at the same time, I have a chunk of change to spend, without guilt.  3.  I'm a stay at home mom.  It is a big deal to get away, not only for a day, but for a whole weekend, without kids.  I get to sleep in!

Sorry, I digress.  This is not what I'm writing about.  What I'm writing about is a forgotten tweet.

Yes, I know.  That is a fairly big lead in for one, or maybe two, forgotten tweets.  Which I didn't actually tweet, since I don't tweet; however, there are times I go through the day thinking "I wish I did tweet, I would share this ...".

Stay with me here.

Jokes abound about women going to the bathroom in groups.  There are many reasons why we go in groups.  One reason would be the inevitability that the stall you pick will have no toilet paper.  Having a friend near by makes life a little easier.  Another reason would be to do checks.  If you wear a dress or skirt, things get tucked where fabric should not be tucked in, and one does not always notice the breeze such tucking will bring.

Those are just a few reasons.  Aren't you glad you asked.

There are also several reasons why women go shopping together.  Yes, there is the question we all ask "does this make me look fat?".  And, our husbands/boyfriends/significant others appreciate that we get this question out of the way, before bringing  home the clothes.

Also, it is always a good idea to have an extra pair of hands, on hand.  Zippers, ties, hooks, pulling clothes on and off.  It takes a village to go clothes shopping y'all.

On this particular shopping spree I picked up a wrap shirt.  I'm not sure why.  Wrap shirts are not my thing, but I still try them on; guess I'm looking for that perfect wrap shirt, which does look good on me.  A wrap shirt is one which wraps around you, with straps to tie; and if one is not careful, it can quickly become a straight jacket.

And, that is where I found myself on this fateful Friday.  (Though there was a dressing room attendant, we already discussed how much help she would not have been.  See previous post.)

First, when I picked up the shirt, to try on, I wasn't sure how to wrap it around me.  I needed instructions.

Then, when it came to taking it off, forget it.  I was a mess, and was about to find myself tied up in the dressing room of Banana Republic, by my own hands.

Then came the second reminder as to why friends are necessary on a shopping spree.  Think dresses, and zippers, and a pulled arm muscle.

Friends are necessary.  Friends let you vent when you have a bad day.  Friends bring you ice cream when you have a bad day.  Friends help you zip up a dress, figure out if that shirt is not really a shirt, but a dress, and how to wrap a wrap shirt and get you out of it, instead of making a scene which requires emergency personnel to be called.

Let us hear it for friends.   

Good Friends

I am thankful for good friends.

Good friends, who don't mind telling off my children.

Good friends who volunteer to lead the church's elementary school age children's group.

Good friends who make my children do push ups, when they misbehave.

Good friends don't mind threatening my children with their cell phone. "I have your mother's number, and I am not afraid to dial it."

Good parents have already told their good friends "make them do push ups" and "you have my phone number if needed", and warned the kids "behave, or you will do push ups" and "they have our phone number, and they are not afraid to use it".

Good parents also resolve themselves that if that call goes through, we will need to pick up the offending child, hopefully they will be doing push ups from the time of the call to the time we arrive at the church.

A good time is had by all when the parents don't have to make an 11pm run to pick up the offending child. And, it only takes a couple (for some 60) push ups, and one threat with the cell phone, to encourage good behavior.

It takes good friends to help raise your children. Thank goodness!

Friendships

Really, we can't make it through life without friends. Some people may say it doesn't matter who your friends are, as long as they are good friends.

I agree, you should have good friends, but you also need friends in different occupations, and at different points in their parenting walk.

As you read this list, remember you may be one of these friends someone is looking for. And if you are the baking/babysitting friend, then you are prime friendship material. You also have the best skills to grace all your friends, who have graced you with their expertise.

1. You need parents with children the same age as your own. So you know that you are not the only one dealing with these struggles.

2. You need parents with older children; to remind you how good you have it, and to prepare you for what is to come.

3. You need parents with younger children; to remind you how good you have it, and keep you grounded.

4. When your children are in elementary school, make friends with an elementary school teacher, and not your child's teacher. Trust me on this one, my ET friends have received more then one phone call from me, talking me down from the "mother freak out ledge".

5. A friend who is also a school principal is optional, but strongly recommended.

6. When your child is in middle school/high school, make friends with a middle school/high school teacher. Why? See #4.

7. Make friends with an interior designer. Last week I spent a delightful morning with a new friend, I dispensed homework advice (I'm the one with the older child, been there done that) and she helped me to visually rearrange my living room.

8. Have a friend in the medical field. Any medical field will do. Really, you just need a friend who can talk you off the freak out ledge, and direct you towards the proper level of response. (Band Aid, After Hours Doctor Consultation, ER, 911.)

9. A friend who owns a coffee shop. (OK, this one is optional, but from my experience, a delightful perk to life.)

10. A friend who bakes. (Again, optional, but delightful.)

11. A friend who is willing to trade babysitting. Note I said "trade", good friends do not take advantage of friends.

What kind of friendships have you found beneficial.

Lunch Ladies

It was all over Facebook.

Well, more like, we were all over Facebook.

The kids were in school! My baby started school! I'm a stay-at-home mom with no kids!

And, I'm cleaning out closets.

And, running errands.

A friend is deep cleaning her house.

And, then it was asked, why aren't we getting together for coffee? For lunch? Why are we diving into projects without taking a minute to breath, and enjoy friends.

Let's face it, it is the perfect time to make coffee plans with friends. School has just begun, there are no other commitments. Extra-curricular activities have yet to begin. We (the parent's) haven't, yet, volunteered in classrooms.

***While working out a friend did call me, to check-in, and offer her sit-down-and-enjoy-a-cup- of-coffee-together services, since my youngest boarded the school bus. I was about to make coffee plans, when one of the trainers at the gym told me to hang up the phone. Cell phone calls are only allowed in the lobby area.

Also, those working out are supposed to refrain from wearing cologne or perfume, however I don't see the trainers asking the overly fragrant old guy next to me to take a shower before setting out on the treadmill.

Sorry, I digress, but the whole cologne thing is a pet peeve. That, and women who can't use the hooks to hang their towels, when in the shower stall. Instead, they throw it over the stall wall, hitting me in the head.

Hey, it's my blog. And, yes, I'm considering counseling.

Anyway, what were we talking about?

Oh, lunch plans, and coffee plans, and anything else that allows us to sit down with other adults, and enjoy adult chatter, without children; and in places that don't have a fun slide and offer cheap toys in their meals.

Chick-fil-A is excluded from that last remark.

So, we are making plans. And, so should you.

What better way to procrastinate any cleaning project.

Let's Get Personal

I'm not 40 yet.

Seriously. I'm close, but not there ... yet. Yet, being the operative word.

I am 2 years removed from potty training my children, Praise The Lord!

I am past the point of potty talk about the kids.

Apparently, I have reached the age where we talk potty about ourselves.

What?!?!

Walking with two girlfriends last night, at Relay for Life, they were discussing all the junk food we eat during the night. How it affected their bodies during last year's Walk. And, how relieved they had both had really good ... BM's ... let's stick to medical terminology here, earlier in the day.

What!?!?! Wait a minute! Can I at least reach 50 before we start talking about these things. 30, on either end of the decade, is way to early for such discussions.

Note: Apparently, I don't want to talk about it, however I am not above blogging about it.

Not Tellin'

This past weekend I spent a relaxing, enjoyable, low key, fun filled weekend with a group of women from our Sunday school class; in a cabin, in the middle of NOWHERE. ("Nowhere" translates into no cell phone reception, no WIFI, and the nearest Walmart was 1 hour away, in our town. So, if you forgot anything it better not have been important.)

And with that, I'm not telling you anything else. See, our little group has a phrase, "what happens/is said at the cabin, stays at the cabin."

Now, you may be wondering what exactly is a group of God fearing, Sunday school attending women, many married, and many with children, may be trying to hide.

Really, nothing. When it comes down to it, we are rather boring.

However, we talk. We talk about everything. We share our frustrations with husbands, children, jobs, ourselves, life, ... about everything.

We can talk about everything because there is no judgment from our friends. We can talk about everything because we know our conversations are confidential. We can talk about everything because not only will we receive commiseration from the group, we can also talk through the problems. We may not arrive to any solution, but really, talking alone can achieve a lot.

So, what did we do this weekend. We talked, we watched a movie, we hiked, and napped, and ate, we did lots of eating. We talked some more, we laughed, and ate, and enjoyed each other's company.

We also shared one bathroom. Nine women and one bathroom, now if that isn't close I don't know what is.

Our Weekend

One rescheduled trip

Two snow storms

Multiple trips to the store

10 people in our house, 6 of which were ages 8 and under. Thankfully, though the adults were outnumbered, add up our ages and we still ruled

12 pairs of snow boats, 12 mittens, 6 hats, 6 pairs of snow bibs

5 new games downloaded from iTunes

1 pair of socks mixed in with the dress-up clothes

7 wardrobe changes made with the dress-up clothes (7 per girl)

11 subs for Sunday lunch

2 bottles of wine

1 unopened case of Hard Mikes ... how did that happen?

Multiple stories of family, friends, clients, travels, all recounting the months since our last get-together

1 very good fondue dinner, while all 6 children were sleeping

All of this was experienced during one very relaxing, and fun, but way too short weekend, with friends.

PAR'TA!

Last Saturday we hosted a clam bake. Well, not so much a clam bake since we live 3+ hours from the nearest beach, more like a clam boil.

This was the second year we hosted this one-pot clam bake. It was said that this little party is now a yearly event. It was said by one of our guests.


That is a picture of the clams cleaning themselves. Supposedly, if you soak clams in water, sprinkled with corn meal, the clams will spit out the sand from within their shells. I don't think we soaked them enough.

The picture is a picture of me playing with the camera. The Pioneer Woman suggested taking food pictures using natural light, no flash. So I did. And my picture looks like I used no flash and have no idea how to use the natural light. :::sigh:::

And, that is the one and only picture I took to record this year's clam bake, um one-pot clam boil. Which is one picture more then I took last year. So, if for no other reason, we need to host the party for at least one more year so I can take more then one picture.

Apparently I'm not the only one forgetting to take pictures. I cruised the web looking for pictures to accompany the recipe I'm about to post, but couldn't find one.

OK, enough about the lack of pictures. As far as party preparation goes, this one is a cinch. A little cleaning, a little cutting, throw it all in a pot, let it cook, and eat.

Ingredients:

2 pounds small new potatoes

8 ounces Spanish chorizo or kielbasa, sliced

1 large onion, thinly sliced
1 12-ounce bottle lager beer
4 bay leaves
kosher salt and pepper
8 ears corn, cut into thirds
2 pounds large shrimp, shells on
4 dozen littleneck clams, scrubbed
2 baguettes, warmed
2 sticks butter, melted

Directions:
1. Heat grill to high. (We cooked ours on the stove)

2. In an 11-quart stockpot (a very big pot, the largest you have), combine the potatoes, chorizo, onion, beer, bay leaves, 1 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper. Add just enough water to cover the potatoes. Add the corn, shrimp, and clams in layers.

3. Cover the pot. cook on the grill until the clams open, the shrimp are opaque, and the potatoes are tender, 20 to 25 minutes. (Or cook on the stove over medium-high heat. On our stove, and in our really big pots, it takes 60 minutes to cook.)

4. Transfer to a large platter and serve with the bread and butter.

I found the recipe in a Real Simple magazine. The nice thing about repeating a theme party is that you learn what works, and what to adjust. Last year we made three pots of food, only ate two and over-cooked the third. This year we made two pots; cooked a few less potatoes, a few extra corn cobs and an extra 2lbs of shrimp ... perfect!

The recipe says it serves 8 people. That is if you serve absolutely nothing else. We ask friends to bring a side dish to share.

Is this common, to ask your guests to bring food? Maybe it is a Mennonite thing? When our group of friends get together for a party it becomes a pot luck, so to speak.

We also borrow a friend's fire pit and have s'more fixin's available. Last year the kids discovered the fun of flaming balls of sugar. This year we remembered to discuss fire/marshmallow safety before allowing ANYONE to roast a marshmallow.

Now I need to write down all these notes so I remember them for next year. I need to write them all down, including how many people we fed, where I can find them for next year.

It's nice to re-host a theme party because you learn from each party what you can improve for next year. However, it is only helpful if you can remember what you learned from the year before. And, since I can't remember to take pictures of the party, I'm pretty sure I won't remember any of this by next year.

Puttin' Up Corn

Saturday we met up with friends to husk, cook, cut, and bag 38 dozen ears of corn. 38 DOZEN. 38 x 12. I still haven't done the math. All I know is that we ordered 120 ears of that original 38 dozen. I'm glad we have good friends.


Friends who feel the same about mornings as you do. We didn't meet until 10:00am. Believe me, it is important to have friends who feel the same as you do about mornings; if one's friends like early mornings things could get ugly by 10am.


Good friends who also have kids. So they understand when you become so frustrated with your kids, for not husking corn and whining about child labor laws, that you decide to loose them in the corn field.

No, we didn't loose them in the corn field. These pictures are from our trip to a corn maze several weeks ago. The corn maze has absolutely nothing to do with freezing corn.



But this picture has everything to do with freezing corn. Because first you have to cook the corn, after you husk it.

There is a sub-group of corn freezers/canners who don't cook their corn. They freeze it raw. We didn't invite those people to the party. Things can get ugly when your friends don't hold the same "puttin' up corn" theology.



This picture also has everything to do with puttin' up corn. In fact, that night I dreamed about corn. I'm still smelling corn, though it has been a good 24 hours, and all the corn is in my freezer.


Then you cut the corn from the cob. It is amazing how corn cutting techniques can vary, and that discussing said techniques can take up half the afternoon. Thankfully, the differences in corn cutting techniques did not turn out ugly. Though, hold a knife the wrong way and it could get very ugly.



After their parent's broke child labor laws and made them husk the corn, and after certain parents may have outraged certain child rearing professionals by taking their children "out to the woodshed" for not husking corn, the kids were released from their servitude to play. Water, sand, oh my.

I'm still cleaning sand out of little ears, all the while smelling corn.

Type A

Type A individuals can be described as impatient, time-conscious, concerned about their status, highly competitive, ambitious, business-like, aggressive, having difficulty relaxing; and are sometimes disliked by individuals with Type B personalities for the way that they're always rushing. They are often high achieving workaholics who multi-task, drive themselves with deadlines, and are unhappy about delays. Because of these characteristics, Type A individuals are often described as "stress junkies."

~That is the definition provided by Wikipedia. (Yes, Tom I use Wikipedia.)

At our church I'm involved with several of our children ministries. With each position I've worked with another lady who has become a good friend.

And we seem to work well together, despite the fact that we are both Type A personalities. Oh, trust me it could me ugly. But, it isn't.

We each have our "things." Areas we take control over, and get it down. Sometimes we have to pass a project onto the other person. Something hard for me because I have a certain way I want things done. However, knowing I'm working with another Type A person lets me hand it over. It may not be done "my way", but it will be done and it will be done well ... most likely better then I could have completed it.

Maybe I should place myself under "Recovering Type A."

Good Friends

The other afternoon I was on the phone with a friend, we were prepping for a meeting that evening at our church.

We knew what the meeting was about, but we were apprehensive as to where those in the meeting stood, and preparing ourselves for the worst. (Though I am happy to announce the meeting went very well. Now we just need to get leadership on board, find the money, complete the work by fall and our children have a new department. Hmmm, it sounded so simple at the meeting.)

During the course of our conversation we were venting, as I said we were feeling apprehensive. Near the end of our conversation I began to breath deeply and say "I'm finding my zen. I need to calm down and find my zen."

At which time my friend laughed and said "you don't have any zen."

Ah, it is good to have friends who tell you like it is. It is good to have friends who are Type A as well, so we can go crazy together.

Let's sing all together now: He he, ha ha, ho ho, they're coming to take me away, he he, ha ha, ho ho.

Um, I'm Sorry

Apparently, I need help.

Today, while at EM's dance rehearsal, a mom from school walked by and we began to talk. That is, until I saw the new CTMH catalog in her purse.

I don't know her that well. You know, that kind of "well" that gives a person a pass into their friend's purse, to reach for the newest scrapbook supplies catalog.

No I don't know her that well, but reach over and pull the catalog out of her purse I did. The need to see that new catalog was too great and suddenly bull dozed over those socially acceptable walls and ran right into crazy, stalking girl.

Shout Out!

Oh yes, this is a shout out to Good Friends. Because without friends where would we be when our car doesn't move, thanks to a broken parking break cable, it is after church (meaning everyone is tired, hungry, and grouchy), and it is *&#^@ cold outside?

Yes, this happened to us on Sunday. We piled into the car, backed out of our parking space with no problems, (apparently you can drive in reverse with a frozen wheel, however I don't think law enforcement nor the other vehicles on the road would have appreciated us driving backwards for 10 miles) and then got no where fast.

A good friend came over to problem-solve with Hubby while I took the kids inside. The good friend's wife and their kids soon followed. I've been stranded by the side of the road enough times to know how little fun it can be. You are at the mercy of strangers and mechanics with questions running through your head; how am I getting home (plus Hubby and three kids), how long is this going to take, how much is this going to cost???????/

Knowing that Hubby had help and I had a friend to chat with while the kids played (very nicely and patiently even though it was lunch time) helped me to relax and made the time go faster.

The men unfroze the wheel, we soon returned home and the car deposited at the garage.

The repair bill was not bad, though I had other ideas on how to spend $120. EM and I spent two days at home, no car = home bound. Which I actually enjoyed since I cleaned and organized to my heart's content. I finally threw away the fall pumpkins and gourds rotting on my front porch next to the Christmas lights and garland.

We are now back to our reguarly scheduled lives and even more grateful to those around us offering a helping hand.

Who Knew

I'm exhausted! This weekend was fun and crazy, and it has carried through to today as I have washed 3 loads of table cloths and just started my first load of napkins (the cloth kind since paper ones would leave a mess in my washing machine.) This weekend was our Church's Ladies Tea, and since I was head of the committee I was in the thick of things. We served around 100 ladies, set and cleared 14 tables, moved I don't know how many silk and real flowers and plants. Made 140 cucumber sandwiches and 140 chicken salad sandwiches, numerous scones, washed grapes and sliced up three cantalopes, and had one filled trash bag dumped onto my feet (sorry Jana, I had to add that in here). Two very dear friends were fellow committee memebers which made our weekend of work seem more like a weekend of fun.

Throughout the planning process I have learned several things about myself, the first being I can pull off something like this. I guess it is a self esteem thing, the whole "I may be 35 but still feel 18 years old and who would put me in charge of organizing a tea." I'm fearful of organizing much of anything since I tend to be forgetful and things, important details, fall through the cracks and discovered a tad bit to late to do anything about it. (Like I said, there is a whole lack of confidence going on here.) The second is that I have a heart for women's ministry. Who Knew? I guess this desire to minister to women began when I became a mother and found a great group of moms willing to minister me. Over the years this desire has grown as God has placed in my path several areas to serve, and it is funny how most of them have included food. During this week, as I finish washing those table linens, iron those table linens, and find a home for my new tea pot, I will be praying; asking for wisdom and guidance for His future plans for my life.