Sunday, March 1, 2009

So How Did That Work for Ya?

This Saturday Hubby and I attended a marriage seminar.

Our first in, oh, I don't know how many years, so very overdue. In college a professor suggested couples should seek counseling after one year of marriage, at 7 years, at the birth of a child, when those children are teenagers, and like every 5 years in between that. Ooops.

Anywho, it was very interesting. The seminar leader has been trained in Emotion Focused Therapy, which uses attachment theory as its framework.

Confused? Yeah, so was I. The new terminology made it hard to follow at times. Once I got past that the basic theory was simple and made sense. Simple, yes, but my describing it may not be so simple. Sorry. The premise of the seminar moved beyond the usual "for a good marriage do this and not this, now go and be happy." The seminar was designed to give us tools to break certain cycles. It helped us to look at how we interact, how we fight, and what we fight about, and then map out plans to break those cycles.

It was good. And I would love to sit in one again, if nothing else so I can fully grasp the theory.

Today, friends asked about the seminar. My immediate answer was good.

Then I looked at Hubby and realized we never had a chance to talk about our reflections on the seminar.

Why did we not have a chance to talk about the seminar?

Because on the drive home we were too busy arguing. :::sigh:::


Suzanne said...

I am sorry. I laughed at the end of your post. That hit close to home! And did hubby agree with you and how you explained it to your friend?

Erin said...

Don't apologize, I think most couples can relate.

We didn't get a chance to explain the seminar to our friends. When we admitted to arguing they told their marriage seminar story.

Recently married they attended one and got into an argument about traditions (Christmas to be exact.) They shared with the group what they argued about. The following week several other couples admitted to arguing during the week. Apparently our friends started a rather heated discussion among several couples. As she says "we are going to Hell in a handbasket for this one."

As I said, most couples can relate.