Friday, March 13, 2009

Company Girl Coffee

Hi all. Come on in and enjoy a laugh. This morning I am enjoying some cinnamon hazlenut coffee. Yummy. This week at the store I went a little coffee happy. I can't help myself when they have the coffee on sale, and I have coupons. I do believe we are stocked for several months. Good thing, always be prepared for an emergency and you never know when a coffee shortage could happen.

Today is the school carnival/auction and I'm running in and out of the school helping to set up for tonight. Yesterday, I was running in and out of the school so many times (we live next to it so it makes for a nice walk, up hill, both ways) I'm no longer feeling guilty for not making it to the gym.

So for today's post I thought I would share a funny story. Hubby emailed this to me. You may have read it already, but it is funny and worth a second (or third) read.

First, set down your cup. No drinking while reading this. Really, spewing coffee or tea all over the computer is not a fun way to start the weekend. Plus, I don't know what hot coffee feels like coming out of the nose, and don't really care to find out.

Enjoy, and when you are done reading head over to Home Sanctuary for some more Company Girl talk.
The "Middle Wife"
by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday."

"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this." (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.' They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there."

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another "Middle Wife" comes along.


Anonymous said...

Hope we'll see some photos from the carnival. That story was hilarious, esp since I'll be expecting my bag of water to go "psshhheew" soon! haha

Reese said...

Loved the story!
Have a great week!

onemotherslove said...

Hilarious!!! I'm gonna share that one! Love your St Pat's decor, too!

Dani said...

Too funny! I love the "play center"! It is funny what kids think they hear isn't it?

Ridenour Family said...

Too cute!! Sometimes I wonder what my kids are saying at school. Yikes! Hope that your carnival is a success!

L2L said...

thanks for the warning about the coffee, my son is almost 8 and I'm wondering when the where do baby's come from question is going to happen, maybe I'll explain it this way, lol

Rachel Anne said...

Hilarious...I'll bet the teacher wondered where the story was going to go at the "symbol of their love" part! Scary.

I just saw another "lost in translation" story on youtube...called "Ken Lee." It is very funny.

I like your St. Patrick's day theme!

secondofwett said...

Oh my goodness, I needed that smile today...thank you!

Dawn said...

Lol! Very funny! Thanks for the coffee! Hope you are having a wonderful weekend.

Mary@notbefore7 said...

THAT is so funny! Hope you are having a good weekend. YOu made me laugh tonight!