DEFCON 1

My baby entered middle school this year. 

I am not dealing well with it. 

It has nothing to do with the age of my child, which reflects my age.   And, it has nothing to do with the the fact that just yesterday he was crawling around on the floor, getting into anything on the floor.  He still does that, even at 11 years old. 

So far, I've blamed my anxiety on:

Lack of information:
Or, what feels like a lack of information.  As you may have heard, I have Type A tendencies (putting it mildly) and I need details.  Precise details, and I didn't want to wait for the Back to School Night, when they hand out all those details.  That was the night before school began, I had no more than 12 hours to process all this information.  Plenty of time, I agree, but my Type A personality wanted it yesterday. 

So I did what any, freaked out, self respecting  parent does, I emailed EVERYONE.  Well, not everyone, but I had specific questions, and so I emailed those specific people.  (Thankfully, two of those people are friends.  Meaning, they already know me, and are familiar with my neuroses.)  

Fully understanding that I was in full freak out mode, I kindly shared my self realization with all of these wonderful staff members and teachers.  At least I am not alone.  One friend posted on Facebook, " I've just accepted that I'm probably some people's dinner conversation that they {would} rather forget."  I am joining the conversation!

New everything:
Though this is not a new school for us, it is a new campus campus; this means new procedures, expectations, and a lot more autonomy for my baby, my ADHD, Aspergers, baby.  I'm not handling that well.  I need details, so I can helicopter from a distance. 

Morning schedule:
Then there is the driving.  Being a private school, I am responsible for transporting him to school.  Then, I have to drop my other two off at school, basically doing a big circle, before turning around and going to work myself.  OK, I admit, to date we have been spoiled by our school transportation experience.  We live behind the public elementary school; this means, I either with them, or drop them off on my way out of the neighborhood.  I also have the option of sending them on the bus if I'm not leaving the house that day, and the weather is too nasty for a walk.  Last year, when JT started this private school, I partnered with another family to car pool, they took the morning route. 

Did I mention that I am not a morning person.  Trying to wrap my brain around the fact that I need to have everyone, including myself, up, fed, dressed, and ready to head out the door by 7:30 is causing me a little bit of anxiety.  Yes, I know, we have been spoiled.  As my friend DB would say, "pull up your big girl panties and deal." 

Typical middle school crap.
 Everything that goes with middle school and developing children, emotions, hormones, and all that other crap
So, now we are into the school year my anxieties are still hanging around.  Maybe I'll chill out after the other two return to school, and we have a couple mornings under our belt.  Maybe it will happen after I return to work, and can focus my attentions on something else.  I could probably go on, and psychoanalyze this to a whole new level, but I think we will leave it at this.  No need to add more crazy to what already exists.   

Needless to say, I feel as if I've been on DEFCON 1 for a couple days.  If your reading this, and thinking I need a grip, you are correct, I do.  That, or a strong prescription of something.  Thankfully, the high school is a part of the middle school, so not much will change when we reach that stage.  However, if I am still like this when we reach college, I may need to be committed.